The Arizona Republic
April 29, 1998
Slowly she turned. Step by step. Inch by inch
she moved in for the kill. Thwack!
With the speed of a shoe, the chance at $50,000
was gone. Smashed to mush. Reduced to roach goo.
"Sorry, honey," she wailed. "I
forgot."
"Dang," he replied. "There goes
the kids' college fund."
Southern Arizona will witness countless such
human dramas as cool cash forces folks to reassess
that most hated invader of hot summer nights:
The American cockroach.
Those big, yucky sewer roaches that can turn
a kitchen into a scene from a Stephen King novel
with the flip of a light switch are not just vermin
anymore.
They are worth big bucks in Tucson. At least
one of them will be.
The city to the south can "thank" the
exterminating company that brought the Old Pueblo
a competition in 1996 for the biggest roach and
another last year for the fastest cucaracha. This
year, Bruce Tennenbaum of Arizona Pest Control
is offering $50,000 for the right roach.
No, don't check out the personal ads.
This high-priced fellow will be one of 100 released
on the streets of Tucson this summer. They will
be marked with bar codes and numbers visible only
under special lighting.
The odds are not much better than in the paper
lottery. Out of the zillions of roaches wandering
sewers and sinks, only one will be the $50,000
roach. Other marked bugs will bring $100.
But Tennenbaum hopes the promise of roach bucks
will get people's attention.
In addition to attracting new business, he told
the "Arizona Daily Star" he hopes to
land an invitation to Leno or Letterman. Wouldn't
that delight the Chamber of Commerce?
Competitors can bring their specimens - dead
or alive - to Tennenbaum's place from May 15 to
June 26. They'll be frozen for a big bash. The
catch will be displayed under the right light
during a Tucson Sidewinders game.
The winner gets the cash.
The losers should get their heads examined and
their hands washed.
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